Free! Episode Four Review

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Oh look. I’m still watching this piece of shit.

I’m surprised. I’m utterly surprised. You know, you guys should give me a fucking medal for not dropping this anime because episode four was just so God awful that it wasn’t even funny.

What’s the story?

The cast teaches Rei how to swim, and despite the six/seven days of practice, Rei still couldn’t swim. 

Can I go on a little rant here for a moment? Yes? Thanks, guys. I really want to.

I fucking can’t stand Rei.

He’s too full of himself, and personally, he’s a fucking pussy.

But, I digress.

Does Rei learn how to swim? Is the story too predictable? 

Spoilers: the answer to both is yes.

So, the cast holds a meeting as to why Rei can’t swim. Rei says it’s because of the speedo he was wearing that was the cause. So they buy swimsuits the next, try them on, and McBlandold’s meets PussyFace, I mean Rin.

Now that I think about it, PussyFace suits Rin much better because that’s what he is- a fucking pussy.

But again, I digress.

They go outside, and PussyFace says that he wants a real race. He also says that if he doesn’t win, he says that, and I’m not fucking with you, that he won’t move on.

Wow. What a fucking pussy.

HE FUCKING LOST TO HIS FRIEND! THERE’S NO FUCKING EXCUSE TO BE A WHINY LITTLE BITCH AND MAKE YOUR FRIEND FEEL LIKE SHIT FOR WINNING! 

In fact, if I made a list of the Top 12 Biggest Pussies in Anime, he’d definitely be on the top.

But yet again, I digress.

Rei tries again, and he still can’t swim, so he gets depressed. McBlandold’s cheers him up and says that he’s not “free”, inspires Rei, and Rei learns and succeeds how to swim.

That’s the whole fucking episode. I’m done with this shit.

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